After much anticipation, I am elated to share the news that our son has entered the world! Jameson Elliott was born to us on Tuesday, May 14th, at 10:09 AM weighing 6 pounds, 11 ounces and measuring 19.5″ long.
Surprise, Mom! I have thick blonde hair!
Headed home the next day
Thank you Lord for a healthy pregnancy, an easy and uncomplicated birth, and for the joy of bringing one more soul into the world. How blessed we are to be co-creators with our God!
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My husband Shannon and I are the blessed parents of two little girls. Abigail, our oldest, is three years old and her younger sister Madeline just turned two. Life is full of sippy cups and tricycles and laundry piles of vibrant, juice-dripped 3T clothing. I wake up early and go to bed late to make time for homeschooling, cooking, cleaning, laundry, and quality time with my husband. Actually, Shannon and I have a pretty great little “quality time” vacation to look forward to coming up! We’re taking a toddler-free, overnight trip to enjoy some room service at a very expensive, top-rated establishment. Incidentally, the establishment is a hospital and the room service will be limited to to nursing staff and my obstetrician. Oh, and the bed is only big enough for me and our little newborn son who will arrive midway through our stay. When we get home from our “trip,” we’ll have three kids ages three, two, and newborn. Parenthood: when giving birth is a destination vacation.
The future big sisters
As I excitedly prepare for the day of our son’s homecoming, I am struck by the realization that my idea of a tiring day of homemaking is about to be changed completely. Think it’s hard to meal plan, sort laundry, or plan preschool lessons now? Add a nursing, fussy newborn to the mix and I’m sure I’ll look back on these days and laugh at myself for ever feeling overwhelmed. As my father has been diligent to remind me, “Two plus one somehow does not equal three.” (Thanks, Dad!) There are challenging days ahead, but we truly look forward to them with joy. If there is one thing we’ve learned about parenthood, it’s that the exchange rate of hard work for love is worth every sleepless night, missed shower, and stack of neglected dishes. As a third-time mom, I’m blessed with this foreknowledge. 
Children are worth it!
Shannon and I have gratefully accepted our three children as blessings from God. From the earliest days of our engagement and through nearly six years of marriage, we’ve been committed to allowing God’s providence to determine the size of our family and when each child would be born. When we became Catholic in 2012, we were thrilled to find the fulfillment of our convictions in the ancient teaching of the early Church and through the beautiful encyclicals of Pope John Paul II and humanae vitae (of which openness to life is emphasized as a primary act of faith for married couples). Like with so many other aspects of Catholic theology, we “came home” to the fullness of truth for what we already knew to be God’s plan for married Christians: to be fruitful and multiply – to allow for God’s hand in marital love.
And so, with two toddlers running around us and my obviously pregnant self announcing to the world that we are about to add another to this mix of controlled chaos, we’re frequently asked a common question: “Are you ‘done’ after this one?”
Me @ 34 weeks with #3, due 5.9.13
It’s a fair enough question. We live in a culture where having one child is wonderful (and it is), having two children is adventurous (and it is), and having three children is downright ambitious (and it is). Three children, especially three young children, seems to be a commonly accepted “max out” point for today’s family. Relatively few couples even discuss having four or more children. So it came as no surprise to us that people were curious about our future reproductive plans (especially after we announced that our third child was a little boy). The first few times someone asked if we’d be having more kids, I stammered a bit with a vague, “Yeah, probably, maybe in a couple years…” and tried to change the subject. Why was this so hard to answer? Almost all of the people asking were just genuinely curious (if not being a little intrusive), and as far as I knew none were planning to go on a tirade about irresponsible environmental stewardship or anything like that. I brainstormed possibilities for the best response to these types of questions and made a mental list of both politically correct and snarky answers to draw upon for moments of interrogation. I wanted to be prepared for this question, darnit, and I wanted to appear to have it all together while simultaneously proclaiming that “Yes, we expect more of this.” I wanted to be The Winner of The Argument if someone was looking to pick a fight about it. And now, after months of prayer and reflection and googling, I have determined the #1 Best Way of Telling People You’re Probably Not Done Having Kids:
Blame your Catholicism.
Please forgive the anticlimactic nature of this unclever and non-witty response and consider three reasons why using your faith as a scapegoat reigns supreme in the market of other ideas:
1. It’s Honest
When someone like a casual friend or fellow mom at the playground asks if you’re done having kids, it makes little sense to say “no” but lie about your reasons why. “I just love changing diapers!” is not realistic and nobody will believe you anyway. Use this opportunity to tell your friend or acquaintance that your faith is important to you in a simple and up-front way. When someone asks if you’re done having children, try responding with something like “Well, we’re Catholic, so we’ll always be open to another child.” It doesn’t have to be a big production – just an honest glimpse into your convictions. Depending on the situation, your response may lead to further discussion between you and a friend that may have otherwise never come up.
2. It Tells the World That Catholics Still Believe This Stuff
Our family of four on a recent (real) vacation.
Due to many factors, many modern American Catholics actually reject the Church’s unwavering belief about the grave sin of contraception use. Many of these Catholics are genuinely unaware that the Church even teaches against contraception anymore! One solution to this grievous reality is for devout Catholic families to provide a witness to the world about God’s design for marriage. The next time your family pharmacist is filling your perpetual prescription for prenatal vitamins and asks if this is your “last bun to be baked” (as mine did recently), smile and try something like, “Oh, we’re Catholic, so you can hope for lots more business from me over the next decade or so!” If you’ve been blessed with many children, citing your Catholic faith is a great way to remind others that Catholicism, the largest and most unified faith in the world, still professes that children are a blessing from the Lord. Pope Francis is doing a great job and all, but we have a responsibility for properly articulating the faith too!
3. It Makes People Less Likely to Argue With You
Once in a great while, a Catholic will encounter an argumentative person who advocates for “responsible” family planning: small families, childlessness, population control, etc. From what I’ve seen of these folks, the debate fizzles quickly once the antagonist learns their opponent is a convicted Catholic. Catholic parents of large families have endured much sacrifice for their convictions already: multiple long pregnancies, sleepless nights, financial pressure, hard manual labor, stress… The next time a raving environmentalist is trying to shame you about your breeding (almost always online, of course), laugh loudly and say something like, “I’m a Catholic parent of ___ kids. You can’t scare me.”
A far less hostile scenario may play out during a discussion with your medical provider. Though I’m only on baby #3 and have never encountered this issue, I’ve heard stories from other mothers about doctors who are less than supportive of multiple pregnancies, pregnancy past a certain age, or even natural family planning (which is an effective and licit method of achieving, avoiding, or spacing pregnancies according to Catholic teaching). Try explaining to your caregiver that you’re Catholic and wish to remain open to life for the duration of your childbearing years. Even if he or she thinks you’re a religious fanatic and disagrees with your choice to embrace your fertility, your doctor must still respect your decision, especially when your faith is concerned. If they are disrespectful or dismissive, find a new provider who will accept you – and your convictions. As for me, I recently told my obstetrician that I’m a devout Catholic “and will probably be seeing you frequently over the years.” She laughed and wrote it in my chart as her reminder not to bug me about contraception at my postpartum visit. She’s great (and now I’m not nervous for that discussion).
So there you have it – three reasons why using your faith as a scapegoat is an effective way to answer questions about your family planning (or lack thereof). Here is one additional important reminder for using this method: always strive to convey the joy that comes with having many children. If you’re at the grocery store and tired, half-dressed, and ready to lose your mind at six children running rampant in the aisle around you, it may not be prudent to respond to someone’s commentary about your family size (however stupid it may be) by blaming your convictions with an exasperated sigh of misery. It may be honest, but it’s not good evangelism and it definitely isn’t likely to do anything other than confirm the world’s opinions that the Church is a woman-squashing institution concerned with nothing more than growing their membership through aggressive procreation. Sharing your faith through faithful marriage and parenthood means keeping your own attitude in line with God’s. And isn’t that something we should be doing anyway?
Because I know that some clever visitor to my blog will now ask if we’re done having children, I’ll reveal my honest answer: we are almost certainly not done! Not only do we remain open to life, but it would seem that we are blessed with very healthy fertility as well (to say the least). We’re also hoping to adopt someday if God opens those doors for us in the future. I’m blessed to look forward to our family’s future with only mild trepidation. ;)
Well that’s enough blogging from me for one day. The girls are on their fifth episode of My Little Pony and should probably be eating something other than Easter candy for lunch. I also have that vacation to pack for…
Leave me your feedback! Do you have a large family (or do you hope for one)? What kind of response have you found helpful when dealing with questions and comments from others?
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- 1. -
It’s not Friday, but Monday is when I have time to write a post. Here’s a life update!
My little ladies after mass yesterday. They always win my attention over blogging time, but hey – worth it.
- 2. -
Last Sunday, my grandfather passed away. It was a difficult week of saying goodbye for our family. His wake was Tuesday (which happened to be the day of a big snowstorm) and the funeral mass and burial was Wednesday. Now that life is settling into a new normal, my husband and I are thinking about ways we can be supportive to my grandmother in the years to come. Thankfully she lives close to us and we can visit her often, bring meals once in a while, and make sure she is included in all the fun milestones of her two (soon to be three!) great-grandchildren. I can’t imagine losing my husband – even at the end of a long, happy life together.
- 3. -
I’ll be 31 weeks pregnant this week. I figure in about a month I’ll be seriously considering what to pack for the hospital (didn’t I JUST find out we were expecting?). I think I’m more intensely excited to meet this child than I’ve ever felt during a pregnancy. For one thing, I’m having an easier time accepting the reality that yes, this is a real baby that’s coming and yes, he’s actually going to become a screaming, pooping, adorable part of our family’s daily life in a couple short months. During my first two pregnancies the reality was harder to imagine. This time, every punch sweet kick reminds me of the very real child who will be placed in my arms at the end of it all. I can’t wait to meet him. I can’t wait for our girls to meet him. They are so, so excited to have a baby in the house.
Oh, and also I’m not living in terrified anticipation of birth this time, either. After two overrated natural births, I plan to fully embrace the wonders of modern technology and get an epidural forgoodnesssakeohmygosh. Instead of writhing in agony for hours, I may very well be napping while my husband plays 4 Pics 1 Word on the couch. To say I’m feeling peace about this birth would be the understatement of the year. That helps. :)
My view these days…
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So Easter is earlier than usual this year. I love Easter and it’s probably my favorite holiday (especially since becoming Catholic), but wow – this bleak winter weather is really making it hard to believe that spring will ever come to accompany it. Usually by mid-Lent, our magnolia tree outside is starting to show signs of life and we’re landscaping the yard to prepare for an outdoor family gathering. Instead, I’m getting alerts on my phone telling me to expect 6-9″ of snow this evening followed by temperatures in the 30′s for the duration of the foreseeable forecast. I hate winter so much that it actually hurts sometimes.
I have hope, however, that the snow will melt and that some day, some glorious day, the steering fluid in my car will NOT freeze and the mailbox will NOT be glazed shut and the furnace WILL stop running for a few occasional minutes – because there are baby chicks at the local farm store. I find it strange that farmers are following the liturgical calendar, but hundreds of chicks can’t be wrong about when to be born. They just can’t.
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Any other Dave Ramsey enthusiasts out there? My husband and I started the debt-free endeavor about a year ago and it’s been one of the best decisions we’ve ever made. 2012 was a good year and 2013 will be even better. We’re not totally out of debt yet, but we have a plan and it’s working. We have completely transformed our ways of thinking about money and can confidently say that we will never borrow again! Our tax refund arrived this week and gave us a big boost in a positive direction, so we’ve been feeling pretty proud of ourselves lately. Money doesn’t buy happiness but using it wisely kind of does, in a way.
- 6. -
The papal conclave begins March 11th! (And why do I keep thinking about this like it’s going to be a televised American election? It’s a private vote in a locked room. I’ll be limited to refreshing my newsfeed for updates!) Still exciting.
*Edit* According to other Catholic sources, no date has been set yet. The article I referenced for the date of the eleventh has been removed. So we wait!
- 7. -
I got an email from WordPress informing me that I’m coming up on one year of blogging. Actually, the bulk of the email was about how I was going to be charged for another year for my private domain name, but yeah – one year! I’ve been pondering my ideas for a “direction” with my writing. There is so much you can do with a faith-related blog, after all. Apologetics topics? Reflections on daily life as a Catholic? Parenting and homemaking? My primary goal is to convey the message that Catholicism is alive. Christ has not abandoned the Church and I am living proof that grace can transform anyone. I want my blog to be one voice among millions out there who call the Catholic Church their home – one of millions who can confidently give a reason for their faith and convey it with joy. Being Catholic colors every part of my life – and it should. It’s likely that I’ll continue to write about a little bit of everything.
As for my next post, I plan to share my thoughts on how best to respond to people who raise an eyebrow at the number of kids you have. The answer may surprise you, but rest assured that it involves my favorite winning combination of truth, logic, and a touch of uncomfortable sarcasm for when you just can’t get around it. I can’t wait for my next trip to the grocery store!
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It’s pretty hard to believe that tomorrow begins Lent! It has come very early this year. I anticipate that my girls and I will probably be wearing heavy sweaters over our Easter dresses this year.
This is the second year that I’ve observed Lent as an active Catholic engaged in the faith. Last year was an intense one for us as my husband finished up his discernment to conversion and ultimately prepared for Confirmation on Easter weekend. Very few folks knew of our intention to become Catholic “officially” and we kept it that way on purpose. To be absolutely sure that no external opinions would affect my own decision-making, I totally deactivated my Facebook account and lived rather “off the grid” for those blessed forty days. I immersed myself in some of the most anti-Catholic theological works and apologetics titles I could get my hands on, primarily to challenge the weak spots in my doctrinal understandings and secondarily to prepare myself for the onslaught of negative reactions I was expecting (and surely did receive!) in the months to come. It was mentally debilitating, spiritually exhausting, and quite possibly the most upsetting, frustrating academic exercise of my life. I highly recommend it to all “almost Catholics” during Lent or anytime before formally embracing the Church. You’ll be grateful for every exasperating minute. ;) When Easter finally came, Shannon and I described our joy as being similar to how we felt on our wedding day. Oh, what peace! We were finally home.
This year, my plans for Lent are a bit different. Due to the impending papal conclave and the fact that history is playing out in rapid fashion (some of which is being efficiently reported in my Facebook newsfeed, of all places!), I don’t anticipate taking much of a break from the internet. This Lent, I plan to re-examine the documents of Vatican II. This seems like a very relevant and practical exercise for the Year of Faith, and also for this unusual time in our Church’s government. Perhaps if time permits, I’ll share some insights from the experience in future blog posts. A foreseeable obstacle to getting this task accomplished is my love for reading blogs (Catholic, parenting, or otherwise). On a daily basis, I will “give up” my Google Reader until my archived Holy See documents are studied for the morning.
Many people grossly misinterpret the concept of Lenten fasting. In my short adult life, I’ve been on the giving and receiving end of disparaging remarks like “How does giving up (chocolate, soda, television) even remotely compare to what Christ did for you?” Well it certainly doesn’t, and the person making such claims not only misunderstands Catholic Lenten disciplines but Christian fasting in general. Pope Benedict says it beautifully:
“Through fasting and praying, we allow Him to come and satisfy the deepest hunger that we experience in the depths of our being: the hunger and thirst for God.”
–Pope Benedict, Lenten message, 2009
What we sacrifice during Lent should not be flippantly chosen out of piety, routine, or “to lose a few pounds.” What we sacrifice through fasting should allow us more time for prayer, for spiritual growth, and for conforming our minds to the things of Christ.
I actually really enjoy Lent. Making sacrifices and fasting can be difficult and even undesirable at times, but the natural conclusion should be a closer relationship with Christ, all culminating in the joy of Easter celebration. And as I learned last year, there’s really no joy quite like that.
And now to end this serious post on a note that is both comical and unrelated to the topic at hand, here is my favorite meme from yesterday’s news of the papal resignation:
I hope it goes viral. :)
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Pope Benedict XVI announced this morning that he is resigning from his position of Petrine ministry. From the Holy Father:
Dear Brothers, I have convoked you to this Consistory, not only for the three canonizations, but also to communicate to you a decision of great importance for the life of the Church.
After having repeatedly examined my conscience before God, I have come to the certainty that my strengths, due to an advanced age, are no longer suited to an adequate exercise of the Petrine ministry.
I am well aware that this ministry, due to its essential spiritual nature, must be carried out not only with words and deeds, but no less with prayer and suffering.
However, in today’s world, subject to so many rapid changes and shaken by questions of deep relevance for the life of faith, in order to govern the bark of Saint Peter and proclaim the Gospel, both strength of mind and body are necessary, strength which in the last few months, has deteriorated in me to the extent that I have had to recognize my incapacity to adequately fulfill the ministry entrusted to me.
For this reason, and well aware of the seriousness of this act, with full freedom I declare that I renounce the ministry of Bishop of Rome, Successor of Saint Peter, entrusted to me by the Cardinals on 19 April 2005, in such a way, that as from 28 February 2013, at 20:00 hours, the See of Rome, the See of Saint Peter, will be vacant and a Conclave to elect the new Supreme Pontiff will have to be convoked by those whose competence it is.
Dear Brothers, I thank you most sincerely for all the love and work with which you have supported me in my ministry and I ask pardon for all my defects.
And now, let us entrust the Holy Church to the care of Our Supreme Pastor, Our Lord Jesus Christ, and implore his holy Mother Mary, so that she may assist the Cardinal Fathers with her maternal solicitude, in electing a new Supreme Pontiff.
With regard to myself, I wish to also devotedly serve the Holy Church of God in the future through a life dedicated to prayer.
This is the first time in nearly six-hundred years that a pope has resigned! Today is a day of history for our Church and for the whole world. I am still rather stunned by this news (as is my husband, who was awakened by my startled exclamations before even opening his eyes). Who would have seen this coming on a bleak February day, just 48 hours before the start of Lent?
The first question many people had was “Can a Pope do that?” Yes, he can. In this case, Pope Benedict cites his deteriorating health as reason for his resignation. Because a Pope can never be removed from office, perhaps he desires to circumvent future physical and mental impediments to the ministry before they arise. I can hardly fathom the depths of humility it must have taken for the Holy Father to make such a decision. (As a side note, I do speculate that media coverage will wane once its generally discovered that scandal played no role in this announcement.)
Pope Benedict XVI will officially give up his papal office on the twentieth hour of February 28th, 2013. At that time, the Chair of Peter will be vacant and a time of interregnum will ensue. Guided by the Holy Spirit, the Cardinal-electors will appoint the new Pope. As a very recent convert to the Church, I am absolutely thrilled to use this historical time to learn more about Church government and of course, to bear witness to the choosing of a new Pope – and all before Easter! I can’t wait to see that white smoke. :) It is a really cool time to be a Catholic and I, for one, am glad to be one today.
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I love reading blogs and online articles throughout the week and if you’re reading this, you probably do too! Here are some great posts which made their way across my Google Reader or Facebook feed over the past few days.
Why My Support for Abortion was Based on Love…And Lies by Jennifer Fulwiler @ The National Catholic Register
The Untold Story of the Ecumenism in the Trenches by Joe Heschmeyer @ Shameless Popery
Catholic Hospital Claims Fetus is Not a Person! by Marc Barnes at Bad Catholic
“Roman” Catholic? @ Cruce Signati
Bishop Confirms ‘National Catholic Reporter’ Not a ‘Catholic’ Publication @ CatholicCulture.org
I’ll be spending the weekend not being sick, which will be a pleasant contrast to the past week which has been miserable for our entire family. Looking forward to getting back to mass, playing with my girls, reading blogs, and doing some site updates of my own. Have a great weekend!
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In part one of this blogging series, it was my intent to illustrate two important facts about the Catholic interpretation of the “bread of life discourse” found in John 6: 35-58. To recap briefly:
These tenets provide some literary underpinnings for a Eucharistic interpretation of the text.
Fig. 1
Today I wish to highlight a textual clue which supports both of the above ideas. In keeping to sola scriptura for this series, the support comes from the scriptural text alone.
We already know that in verses 35-47 of John 6, both Protestants and Catholics alike can agree that Christ is speaking metaphorically when he says “I am the bread of life.” When the Jews utter their first grumblings at Christ’s words, they are not expressing disgust at the idea of Christ being bread. Rather, they ask “Is not this Jesus, the son of Joseph, whose father and mother we know?” They express no objection to the obvious metaphor and instead call into question Christ’s claim to divinity. Up until this point, the only controversy was that Christ claimed to come down from heaven. He claimed that faith in Him was necessary for salvation; coming to Him, the bread of heaven, was a metaphorical invitation to faith. I am the bread of life. If John 6 ended here, there would be no question among Christians that Christ was speaking strictly metaphorically.
Of course, the passage continues. Verse 48 begins a second half of the naturally-divided discourse. Like the first half, it begins with “I am the bread of life.” Christ continues his series of invitations to faith, but this time we begin seeing a new word in our English translations: eat. The word appears as eat/eats/ate a total of ten times between verses 48-58. To English-speaking minds, this is not a detail of obvious significance. After all, Christ is speaking of bread – of course you eat it. What other word should we expect for unpacking a metaphor about bread?
As it turns out, the Apostle John did not record Jesus using the same word for “eat” throughout the entire passage. According to the original Koine Greek language of John’s gospel, Christ used at least two different terms:
esthio: a verb meaning to eat, to consume, to partake in a meal. This was a common verb for eating and appropriate for use in a metaphor about bread.
trogo: a verb meaning to chew, to gnaw, to crunch. This was a common verb in Greek literature used to describe the feeding of animals such as mules, pigs, and cattle.
John used the verb esthio, the common term, in verses 49, 50, 51, and 53. When does he change his vocabulary to employ the verb trogo? Only after the Jews finally object to a literal interpretation of Christ’s words. Remember, the Jews’ first objection (verse 42) was in response to Christ’s claim to divinity. Verse 52, on the other hand, is the first instance of objection from the Jews related to the specific idea that we must actually eat Christ’s flesh: The Jews then disputed among themselves, saying, ‘How can this man give us his flesh to eat?’ It is only at this point that the Apostle John abandons the common form of the verb “eat” and replaces it with trogo, or chew, gnaw, for the remainder of the discourse.
Why? Scott Hahn and Curtis Mitch, Catholic scholars and commentary contributors for The Ignatius Catholic Study Bible, explain:
The change in vocabulary marks a change of focus and emphasis, from the necessity of faith to the consumption of the Eucharist. The graphic and almost crude connotation of this verb thus adds greater force to the repetition of his words: he demands we express our faith by eating, in a real and physical way, his life-giving flesh in the sacrament.
When considering the two distinct terms used for “eat,” it becomes clear that Christ is not just merely repeating himself, as English translations might lead us to believe. Let us agree that He is repeating himself with emphasis. But emphasis on what? The Catholic Church affirms that a careful interpretation of St. John’s Koine Greek writing most logically points to a literal interpretation of Christ’s words in this passage. The purposeful Greek terms used for “eat” are considered to be one point of supporting evidence for Catholic Eucharistic doctrine.
Reconciling Christ’s strong verbiage with a strictly-metaphorical interpretation of the text is difficult. Of course, any Christian who denies the Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharist is charged with not only denying the ancient Catholic interpretation, but using Christ’s words to support their own strictly-metaphorical analysis. The Protestant must insist that Christ’s gradual crescendo in meaning from “partake in a meal” to “chew like an animal” was intended to simply intensify the metaphor from verses 35-47. It makes little sense, however, to assume that Christ would counter a response of incredulity from his devout followers by making the metaphor more difficult for them to understand. ”How can this man give us his flesh to eat?” If a metaphorical interpretation was Christ’s objective, we would expect that he would either make his rhetoric more comprehensible or at the very least, repeat the teaching with synonyms very close in meaning. Esthio and trogo are not close synonyms; they are merely related in that both describe something a mouth can do to food. Regardless, Christ intensifies his teaching with word choices that could only make the teaching more burdensome for an audience that is already disconcerted. Is this a risk that Christ would take for the sake of a metaphor? The Catholic Church emphatically says no.
Christ’s deliberate verbiage implies a meaning that goes beyond a metaphorical truth. If eating is believing in 6:35-47, then believing leads to eating in 6:48-58. An examination of the Greek words used for eat gives us another piece of evidence for a sacramental doctrine of the substantial presence of Christ in the Eucharist and a literal interpretation of the text.
In part three of this blog series, we will examine the reaction of the hearers of Christ and compare the reaction to other instances of controversy over a teaching. Stay tuned.
“Institution of the Eucharist” by Sassetta
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